For almost 15 years, Nicola and Kevin Woodall have been fostering children. After deciding that they wanted to be the people that gave children a chance, their fostering journey began.

Go to work. Come home. Go to work. Come home. Go on holiday. Come home. Go to work. Come home. It was this monotonous cycle that pushed Nicola and Kevin to become Foster Parents.

Since 2007, the couple have been supporting children in their local area, and have had their current foster children, who are siblings, with them for the last 11 years. The couple said: “We were so fed up with that “normal” routine and we thought there must be more to life than this. We wanted to give children something and give them a chance.”

Nicola was a former civil servant of the prison service, and while Kevin continues to run his own business, the couple have been fostering mostly long-term placements for the last 15 years.

One of the biggest learnings that the couple have taken away from being Foster Parents is that it is an entirely two-way street. Nicola said: “This job is so challenging, but so rewarding at the same time. You have to remember that these children give so much to you. It’s nice, and it makes you feel good when they come home and say that they have had a genuinely good day, or when they have left your care but continue to come back and see you. You know that they understand their journey with you, and the reasons behind some of the things that were said or done whilst they were in your care.”

Kevin added: “There are things that you wouldn’t even think of too. Like when a child insults you for the first time, because they finally feel confident or safe enough to do so, and you think ‘It’s working! I am getting to you!’. There is such a sense of achievement knowing that you are giving these children the best care that they could possibly have.”

Despite fostering for over a decade, Nicola and Kevin continue to train and learn more about fostering to ensure they are giving the best possible support to the children in their care. Nicola has recently completed her NVQ level 5 in Applied Therapeutic Practice. As Kevin isn’t the primary carer he doesn’t undertake as many courses and qualifications, but still attends sessions regularly.

Most recently, the couple have been through virtual reality training with the team at Flourish Fostering, using Antser’s VR technology to further their understanding of children who have endured traumatic starts in life.

Nicola said: “Even though we have been doing this for a long time, this type of training really hits home. You learn the exact impact that certain things have had on the children in your care. It’s hard when you haven’t experienced these things yourself to know exactly what your children are going through, but the power of VR training means that you can feel it. It’s an attack on all of your senses.”

Nicola continued: “The VR training shows lots of children’s behaviours, and the root cause of them. It helps link together your own children’s experiences and actions, and you think to yourself ‘this all makes sense now.’ Our youngest is now 15, and we can break down the reason for the way she behaved when she was a young child.”

Their recent training took them through the entire life of a child who has lived through abuse or trauma, starting from when they are in the womb, through their entire childhood, until they are removed from their own families and placed into care. Nicola and Kevin said: “You feel like you are actually living through the training. For the first time we were able to see things entirely through the eyes of the child, not just the Foster Parent on the receiving end. It gave us a whole new world of perspective.”

Having supported their current foster children for the last 11 years, Nicola and Kevin have learnt a lot about what it takes to be supportive Foster Parents. The couple emphasised that being a Foster Parent is not without its ups and downs, but their extensive training has helped them to work through difficult situations.

Kevin said that learning as you go along is all part and parcel of being a Foster Parent, but if VR training was available at the start of their fostering journey, it would have put them years ahead of where they started.

Kevin added: “I can’t imagine the hugely positive impact that this will have on Foster Parents who are just starting out. We recommend the VR training to everyone we know who fosters as it makes such a positive difference.”

Throughout all of their training and 15 years of fostering, Nicola and Kevin have loved being able to support children and young people for the better. Kevin explained how there is a myth surrounding children in care: “People think that children are in care because of things that they have done, but it is purely because of what they have been through or had done to them. We’ve been through some difficult times with the children in our care, but through ongoing training, and pulling together we have made a real difference to their lives.”

“We even have conversations with our children about the training that we have been on. We think it’s good for them to understand what we’ve learnt, and how it applies to them and their behaviour, and they find it interesting too. They understand the impact that they can have on the rest of the household, and we all learn how to do things differently to help each other. It’s always a two-way street.” 

To find out more about the Antser Virtual Reality Programme, click here.

From teaching a class of 30 children, to nurturing two siblings, one Foster Parent talks about her transition from teaching to fostering  with Flourish Fostering.

*Sophie always knew that she wanted to work with children, so it’s no surprise that she became a Foster Parent, and possibly less surprising that she was a teacher for nine years beforehand.

As a teacher, Sophie was always drawn to the pastoral side of her job. Highly attentive towards the children’s wellbeing, Sophie found that she didn’t have enough time at school to provide the personal level of support that some of the children needed. Sophie said: “As a teacher I felt like I was always snatching minutes here and there to support the kids and I just thought, ‘I don’t want this, I want taking care of them to be my full-time job’.”

“I would find myself saying ‘maybe at lunch time’ or ‘maybe at the end of the day’. So many children would approach me with their problems, and that’s really difficult when you are trying to teach at the same time.”

After weighing up the options and deciding that she wanted to focus on making a real difference to children’s lives, Sophie and her husband became Foster Parents with Flourish Fostering.

Sophie shared: “Working as a teacher, I found that so many children came from difficult backgrounds. They need security and support, and for lots of them school is their only safe place. Often children would find a teacher that they connect with and then talk about the things going on at home. It was a great choice to become a full time Foster Parent as now I have the time to dedicate to children who need the support and unpick their trauma.”

“I’m currently looking after two children who are siblings, but it’s certainly a bit different having them in your house”.

Reflecting back on her transition into fostering, part of Sophie’s introductory training was an Antser virtual reality session with Nicola Tunbridge, one of the directors from Flourish Fostering.

Sophie explained: “You become so immersed in the experience, it feels like you are that child at that point in time and really helps you empathise with children in your care and their experiences. After the training, the discussion amongst all of the Foster Parents was amazing. Usually, people are a bit dumbfounded after a training session, but this invigorated people, and encouraged good comments, strong connections and a deeper level of communication”.

Although Sophie has lots of experience in working with children from troubling backgrounds, she felt that the support of her fellow Foster Parents and the impact of the VR training have made a huge difference to her journey as a Foster Parent so far.

Sophie added how this type of innovative training allowed her to tap into a real, visceral, emotive experience and said: “One thing that stands out to me from the training, is you are a toddler, sitting on the floor and you can’t move around, mum and dad are there, dad comes up in your face and screams at you, and you really feel the fear and panic, and rationally you know you’re sitting in a room of people and safe, but you are shut off and it is all so consuming that you forget, and become immersed in the experience.

“It feels like you are that child at that point in time, so it helps you to empathise with children’s experiences who are in your care. It’s all very well being told, or shown the statistics, or being shown the data, but it’s different actually experiencing it first hand for yourself from the child’s point of view”.

Reflecting on the VR training, Sophie shared she can now apply the training in her role as a Foster Parent. Sophie added: “From my point of view it was interesting to see that even from birth the children in my care have had trauma, on trauma, on trauma, on trauma. When they behave in certain ways, I know they’re not just being naughty, I can see that it is because of all of the things that have happened to them.”

“One thing that really stuck out to me were the conversations had amongst other Foster Parents in the room. After going through the VR training, it was like you could pinpoint your own foster child in each scenario, we would take the headsets off and everything became clear! Everything we had all experienced, with our individual foster children, made sense.”

Sophie said that becoming a Foster Parent has allowed her to explore parts of her career that being a teacher didn’t allow for. Although she loved working with lots of children at the same time, she felt that switching to foster care was the choice for her, and something that she really wanted to do.

Sophie said: “This job is allowing me to do something that I’ve always wanted to do but my previous jobs just wouldn’t allow for. It’s great to be making such a positive impact on these children.”

To find out more about the Antser Virtual Reality Programme, click here.

Fostering for over a decade, Sharon Hausrath, a Flourish Fostering Foster Parent, sits down to share her advice and experience of VR training

Working in several management roles in and out of the Sales and Hospitality industry, Sharon Hausrath moved away from home and decided to embark on a new journey. Not wanting to work in London, Sharon and her partner thought now was the best time to try their hand at fostering.

Sharon went on to join Flourish Fostering, an Ofsted rated ‘Outstanding’ independent fostering organisation. Sharon said: “What attracted me to fostering was at my previous job, I met Mica Douglas (Managing Director) and Nicola Tunbridge (Director), I got to learn more about Flourish Fostering’s therapeutic training, and it was the opportunity to learn and develop that attracted me. The training and development that’s around for me have certainly made me feel like I am equipped to look after children.”

With a mixture of respite, short-term and long-term placements, Sharon has seen all sides of fostering. Sharon added: “We did respite for quite a while, which was interesting, but I have three children in placement now and two of them I have had in my care for six years.”

“Originally coming to our family for an emergency placement at 6 pm on the 23rd of December, they are both still here with me to this day. I have another child who is 9 years old, and he’s been with us for two years now. It really doesn’t feel like a job, but it feels like we have managed to help so many children in that time.”

Led by therapeutically trained social workers, Flourish Fostering work with their Foster Parents to train and help them become the best professional parents they can be.

With a strong interest in training and learning, Sharon shared her experience on virtual reality training with Antser and Flourish Fostering. Stating that VR has helped advance her knowledge and understanding, Sharon said:

“Even with a master’s degree in Therapy to Fostering and Adoption, the VR training allowed me to learn something very new and although I am highly qualified and knew a lot about trauma and neglect, I found the Virtual Reality training offered an insight that all the other training I have had over the years never did.”

“Training with the perspective of a VR headset touches a different part of your learning. You’re more aware of what situations must feel like. Using the headset, it gives a different perspective, and allows you to fully see different environments of what it must be like as a child.”

Reflecting on her first thoughts about the VR training, Sharon said: “I had two thoughts. Firstly, I was quite intrigued as I hadn’t really used VR before but secondly, I was curious to see how VR could make a difference to my learning. I also felt interested to see how the VR would help me feel more involved in understanding how children in foster care feel.”

The innovative training has allowed Sharon, as a Foster Parent, to walk in the footsteps of a vulnerable young child. Adding to this, Sharon said: “The first training we experienced was called the ‘Unborn Child’ and I have had the experience of a child living in a home that had suffered this trauma. I had previously read a lot about this subject matter but coming at it with the perspective of the VR headset, touches a different part of your learning.”

“Your emotions are heightened of what it must be like for the child as the VR headset puts you in the footsteps of the child and it makes you realise how scary the situations are that children could find themselves in.”

VR brings training to life. Sharon added: “After watching the Young Aisha film, to be in that room and that environment, looking around, you can’t understand that when just reading information and statistics. The VR brings situations to life, and you are able to understand and empathise what a child’s life has been like.”

Heightening the importance that not only Foster Parents but professionals can benefit from the VR training, Sharon shared: “I think it would be very valuable for other professionals and not just Foster Parents to view these situations from this point of view. I would advocate this VR training for specific children, education providers and health providers who are struggling to understand children.”

To find out more about the Antser Virtual Reality Programme, click here.